The Gift of Zero

Luxuriating in the sweet pause between Christmas & New Year

‘Twas a few days after Christmas, and all through the house,

I was lounging on the couch with Dana, my spouse.

The Christmas tree was still strung with lights all aglow,

Stockings remained hung with garlands of fake California snow.

Snuggled and huddled, drifting in and out of naps,

Netflix and leftovers, our dog in our laps.

With the hubbub behind us, we nestled into the hush,

We’d pulled off another Christmas, no more need for rush.

Presents purchased, neatly wrapped, then torn asunder,

Eggnog and cookies leaving blood sugar plundered.

No more driving across town, nothing left to do but slumber…

The New Year had begun, our colleagues were all gone

With the same e-mail auto-responder, singing the same song:

“I’ll be back mid-January, until then, leave me the bleep alone.

Happy holidays, now get off your damn phone!”

This is where I found Zero, the part of the holidays I love best…

Permission to be, float, and chill…sprinkling in a bit of rest.

For some, getting to Zero is a non-reactive state

to tap into when dealing with conflicts with our boss or mate.

Zero is that for me, but oh-so much more; it’s a country within my skin

A favorite landscape I visit, where I feel the absence of spin.

I never want to leave Zero, and I fantasize about one day moving there

applying for citizenship, buying a home, and living without a care.

I pray throughout the New Year, I’ll still feel Zero’s presence,

Like a departed loved one, I want always to sense its essence…

maintaining a tether to its kite string, even though it’s in midair,

Like a wisp of a magical dream, I’ll remember being there.

In the land of Zero, where my heart doesn’t race,

I don’t feel behind; I’m at just the right pace.

Zero is the reward for which I do so much striving,

earning a right to its embrace instead of dog-paddle-surviving.

In Zero, I’m in rapturous, timeless, infinite love.

In Zero I am full, I am whole, I am enough.

This is very distinct, by the way, from revenge procrastination,

attempting to not think about or ignore a looming obligation.

No, Zero comes when the work’s been done,

When I’ve earned my piece of peace, and the war has been won.

Zero is my prize; it is my sacred gift,

The payoff for all the heavy boulders I lift.

The purpose of fulfilling my To-Do List is the promise Zero.

It’s why I try so hard to be everyone’s hero.

Well, if Zero is so special, what’s the point of doing anything at all?

Why would Cinderella ever bother dressing up for the Ball?

Isn’t Zero the same as nothingness,

the absence of meaning; wide-open emptiness?

“No,” my dreams tell me. “Coming back to Zero isn’t the same as never leaving.

You have to get lost before you’re found to honor a prize worth achieving.

Zero is your immortal setpoint and eternal soul

The part of you that doesn’t feel compelled to work toward a goal.

Zero is fullness without the need for embellishment.

It’s a space of grace, your ground and your firmament,

Always right there, patiently asking the question

that Matthew (6:27) felt compelled to mention:

“Which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to your stature?”

No one, unless you believe lies manufactured to make you feel fractured

Trying to tell you that more fortune, fame, accolades, and admiration,

Will ever give you deep ease and true satisfaction.

In fact, most of what you pursue

only detracts from what Zero can do.”

I pray when life is back to the races, it won’t go quite as fast

I’ll stash a bit of Zero in my pocket to try to make the mellow last.

I hope I’ll continue to hear Zero’s serenade

Cutting through my busy-ness, like a merciful razor blade:

Singing:

“You are a child of God what's your worry?

No need to be in such a hurry.”

***

This piece has been excerpted from my upcoming book, Dreamafesting (St. Martin’s Essentials).

For more about Dreamafesting go to:

www.KellySullivanWalden.com/dreamafesting-live